Lose Weight In Six Easy Steps

I have a new use for poker. Basically, it goes like this:

1) Log onto Pokerstars or Bodog

2) Open favorite cash game table

3) Get a bunch of money in the pot with donkey drawing thin

4) Get sucked out

5) Get really pissed off

6) Immediately start working out

Last Shorter Bet Anyone?

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 2283459

"I had implied odds"

I'm playing a lot more NLHE ring now and frankly, I don't know why I didn't focus on this game a couple years ago. You can punish the fish faster in this game than any other.

At my last live 1/2 ring game, there were at least 4 super fish that thought that they were good. Check out this play by one of them who I'll call NY:

UTG raises to $10 and NY re-raises to $40 in MP with about $400 behind. Then, a very tight player makes it $80 in LP with $120 behind. All fold and MP calls. The flop is rags and MP check-folds.

NY is sitting directly to my right and begins to explain his thinking to me quietly. "See, I had 99 there and I called the $40 knowing that if I hit a set I'd take his whole stack, so I had implied odds."

I just nodded my head up and down. You certainly don't want to educate players at the table. He had implied odds alright, but they sucked. He's calling $40 to potentially win $120 so he's only getting 3 to 1. I think a good rule of thumb is that you need at least 10 to 1 implied odds. Of course, don't re-raise with 99 like that, just call and try to flop a set.

Live Poker is a Savior!

The cure for my bad run was live poker, in particular the 1/2 NLHE game with a $50-$300 buy-in at Ameristar. I won a couple of $100+ pots with top two pair and a set of 6's and did a nice job of avoiding marginal situations in smallish pots. For example:

I limp AsTs UTG and 7 players see a AxJs2s flop. I check with the intention of check-raising, but MP bets the pot and then the tightest player at the table raises what I know has to be a set of 2's so I let it go.

There are 5 limpers and I check my option in BB with ATo. The flop comes Ts8s4x and I probably should have bet out but I check-folded to some heavy action.

I lost a total of $4 on those two hands.

Then, I raise red tens to $10 UTG and get 2 callers directly to the left of me. The flop is 988r and I bet $30. UTG+1 calls and UTG+2 folds. Alarm bells go off in my head and I check the 5h on the turn. He bets $40 into the $90 pot and I read him for either 99 or AA, and I suspect he is putting me on JJ-KK. I stack up all my chips and he is not worried in the slightest, confirming my read. I say, "There is nothing that I can beat" and muck. He shows AA and says, "Nice fold."

It wasn't the best session ever, but at least it was a winner.

Can't Win

Lack of poker posts recently = running very bad. I hate to whine or rant, but goddamit, I'm sick of losing! Losing is not fun! It doesn't matter how good I play or what game, I will lose to the biggest donkeys. For example, I just busted out of the PLO8 tourney with A456 on a 23J board after getting it all-in on the flop 3-ways with 50% equity. The turn and river were TJ and I got nada. So I go play some LHE, it folds to me OTB and I raise with TT. Only the BB calls and we see a K9x flop. He check/called my bet. The turn was a T and he check/raised; I re-raised with the 3rd nuts and he capped. The river didn't pair the board and I called his bet and got shown QJ of course. I swear, it's a fucking repeat of this shit every night.

Okay, that's the end of my rant. You will see no posts here again until I'm running better. If you must see more of me, check out my investment blog where I've been profiling one of the best stock opportunities that I've ever seen.

Poker Blows

Have you ever screamed so loud that you ruptured a blood vessel? That's basically what happens every time I play poker. It's insane how often I get sucked out on, run into coolers and miss monster draws. It happens so often that I just expect it...that's how bad poker blows. I'm at a point where I would rather bluff with garbage and get people to fold versus value betting good hands because I know that they won't hold up. Have you ever felt like this?

My therapy has been to play a bunch of short-handed, low-limit Holdem against passive opponents. I basically raise and re-raise any reasonable hand preflop while in position and continue the aggression post flop regardless of the board. So far, it has been fun and refreshing being a lag-tard versus my natural tendency to be somewhat tight and nitty. There is just something about raising every hand that gives you a sense of power and helps the tilt go away. If you are struggling with your game, I highly recommend pounding away on the low-limit short-handed games for a while.

Unacceptable Hand

I hate it when people play poorly and beat me. My opponent actually has about 54% equity on this flop with his wheel draw and flush draw but he doesn't re-raise me like he should have (you want to see all 5 cards with that hand!). Instead, he waits until I have 59% equity on the turn to make a bad all-in call.

PokerStars Game #9041129322: Omaha Hi/Lo No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) -
2007/03/22 - 23:19:13 (ET)
Table 'Tithonus V' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: Pio_the_King ($84.65 in chips)
Seat 2: Spiderman419 ($37.70 in chips)
Seat 3: Dustydawg ($34.85 in chips)
Seat 4: No_Limpin1 ($61.75 in chips)
Seat 5: Hillcrestkid ($59.85 in chips)
Seat 7: MrCooler1 ($66.20 in chips)
Seat 9: sachem99 ($72.70 in chips)
sachem99: posts small blind $0.25
Pio_the_King: posts big blind $0.50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to No_Limpin1 [Td 2c Ad Ah]
Spiderman419: calls $0.50
Dustydawg: folds
No_Limpin1: raises $2 to $2.50
Hillcrestkid: folds
MrCooler1: folds
sachem99: calls $2.25
Pio_the_King: folds
Spiderman419: calls $2
*** FLOP *** [9c As 5c]
sachem99: bets $1.50
Spiderman419: folds
MrCooler1 is sitting out
No_Limpin1: raises $9 to $10.50
sachem99: calls $9
*** TURN *** [9c As 5c] [Ts]
sachem99: checks
No_Limpin1: bets $48.75 and is all-in
sachem99: calls $48.75
*** RIVER *** [9c As 5c Ts] [2s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
sachem99: shows [4d 3c 7h Ac] (HI: a straight, Ace to Five; LO:
5,4,3,2,A)
No_Limpin1: mucks hand
sachem99 collected $61.75 from pot
sachem99 collected $61.75 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $126.50 | Rake $3
Board [9c As 5c Ts 2s]
Seat 1: Pio_the_King (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 2: Spiderman419 folded on the Flop
Seat 3: Dustydawg folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: No_Limpin1 mucked [Td 2c Ad Ah]
Seat 5: Hillcrestkid folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: MrCooler1 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: sachem99 (small blind) showed [4d 3c 7h Ac] and won ($123.50)
with HI: a straight, Ace to Five; LO: 5,4,3,2,A