My Love/Hate Relationship With Poker

She’s a dirty whore, but I just keep going back for more. I think I’m having fun during the act, but after I’m finished I think, "why the fuck did I do that?!" Actually, that’s not completely true. I haven’t seen her in quite a few days and her temptation is starting to fade. The problem is she’s just not treating me right and her kicks to my junk are really starting to bite! How can I possibly keep letting her play with my head morning, noon, and night!

So, lately I’ve been ignoring the calls from the dirty whore and instead hanging out with my good buddies Mr. Fantasy Football and Sir Mansion Sports Bet Freeroll. Mr. Fantasy, unlike the dirty whore, has treated me like a king for the last two years and Mansion was nice enough to line my pockets with several Franklins on Thursday night via Steelers victory. Unfortunately, Mansion rarely comes around and Mr. Fantasy is only a temporary distraction from my degenerate, money-making needs. As a result, I’ll likely return the calls of the dirty whore, maybe even as soon as tonight. If I do, hopefully we can start to mend our rocky relationship and I won’t wake up in the morning with a sore, sore package. Wish me luck.